Category: Singles Spit Swap
i don't think it matters one gender or another; whoever you fall for may just happen to be a male, or female, whatever the case may be. i know a lot of people won't agree to that, but it's my opinion. a good partner to me is one who is honest, funny, has opinions, is musical and is open-minded to other types of music. he/she shoudn't be overly sexual, meaning that this person should be able to think of far more things than sex, and i know there are a lot of people who can't do that. he/she has things to say and is generally easy-going. this person can not be possessive/controlling, as i have dealt with that once before and refuse to be called a whore for having friends that happen to be boys, for insstance. this person can not be a heavy drug/alcohol user, but i suppose once in a great while is ok with me, to an extent. this person is not afraid to share their needs or concerns, etc. and to let you all know: i am not exactly posting this up to sell my self. i am only writing this to share my preferences, out of interest.
well put, nicely done. its too the point and it shows you know what you want.
Hello, wish you the best of luck.
Very interesting topic. I'm curious to see what other people have to say. I have always liked women, but I have nothing against those who are gay or bisexual. I realize it is their preference, just as mine is women and that they are people as well. It is a characteristic of theirs and they should be treated the same. Not everyone shares this same opinion though, and I've seen a few hate crimes shown on the news lately, targetting those who were gay. That is a totally unnecessary reason to attack a person, the victim probably did nothing and gave no reason for the attacker to be threatened. But I see that other people feel threatened simply when a gay person is around them, I will never understand why.
Very interesting way of thinking. I think you explained it well too. I agree with you that alot of people don't feel the same way. Yah i hear about hate crimes and that sort of thing on the news to. It's pretty bad. I would agree that it should matter how the person treats you and if they show that they care about you. If they have similar interests as i do. I like the person to have a good sence of houmor and likes different types of music. I would want a person to of course be onnest with me and not be afraid to express there thoughts, feelings or concerns about things with me. I have allways been attracted to girls.
A good posting. Despite the lack of gender preference, reading this makes me think more as if she is seeking a friend, or a close friend.
That idea was shared on her other post, but I put mine here so this post goes on the right board.
my mistake. I meant to post it here, but wasn't paying attention to which topic I was on, apparently.
It seems that the original poster and I have very similar criteria when we're looking for a prospective partner. I know a musical girl is a definite turn-on for me.
So talk to her some. Smile.
I am curious about that myself. Musicly inclined is a good thing for sure if you ask me.
She's doing good. Smile. 2 interested. Go girl!
I have friends of both gendors, of course, but when it comes to someone being able to excite me sexually, I definitely know where my preference lies. I don't understand the whole bi sexual thing, but then again, most straight people don't understand how someone can be sexually aroused by someone of the same gendor either. People and their turn ons do fascinate me.
I always thought I wanted someone who was musical, but I do realize that I'm not going to get exactly what I always wanted. So they don't have to be musical, but it would be a major plus to me if they were.
good points dave&forest gump, and for real, i am not exactly seeking a partner at the present, rather stating my preference for conversation's sake. once again i am not selling myself on this posting. a friend of mine mentioned that she doesn't think it matters what gender a person is, and you can fall in love with either. this was a year or so ago. well after i heard this, i realized that was a brilliant idea, and that i would see that the same way. i am not a copycat, but i never thought of it before. she inspired me.
Ah, so I was right. You are more less looking for a friend. You are not settled.
You'd best try out the gender thing, not just think it is a cool idea. That really has to be something you can deal with socially.
Yah it is an interesting topic of discussion. As for me the person does not have to be musical but it would be a positive thing as buckeye fan stated for me too. I am thinking there has been a study done on people being atracted to different and same genders before. It would be an interesting read.
Yeah. I was merely stating things I would look for as well. I'm not actually looking right at the moment.
I'm confuse, are you looking for a soulmate, or looking for a partner. for me, sounds like you are more looking for a soul mate, a besty, rather than a seeking a partner.
yeah i'm a bit confused too
LOL.
ah very nice post. We have some stuff in common I see
There are some categories - not judgmental labels but descriptive terms - that describe some of this.
She made it clear sex was pretty low on the radar. Some people are romantic asexuals, meaning they don't want anything to do with sex really. It's hard because many people by their nature connect romance with sex, which is why casual sex is so unpopular.
But more to the point, what she's talking about is pansexuality, an orientation that does not include gender of the prospective partner.
All I will warn the original poster against is this: Know your own preferences, but don't just assume because your friend thinks it is a cool idea that you should just want people regardless of gender. Meaning if that is how you really are, great. But don't do this because you think it's enlightened, or skinny-jeans hipster or whatever.
I'm not kidding: 20 years ago peple thought it was all enlightened to date internationally. So they did, and hooked up with non-whites, never telling these poor people that they were mere tokens, a means to an end of being in the cool club. If you fall in love with, or are attracted to, someone of another ethnicity, or if you fall in love with, or are attracted to, someone regardless of gender, that is all good. but if you are just doing this for the idea, you are using people. When people used others from different ethnicities like this, it always ended badly, and the so-called enlightened one was often summarily told to take their enlightenment and shove it up their ass.
If you really are attracted the way you are, great. You made it sound, though, like your friend thought it was cool and you thought this was the way to be. It is for some people, because apparently they are just like that. but the cruelest thing ever that I could do would be hook up with someone just to show my friends how open minded or enlightened I am.
This isn't really so much directed at the original poster as it is against the mentality I see now. People who have been disenfranchised, picked on, threatened, beaten, killed, and more, are now just starting to get acceptance from the rest of us. It's very late of course, but nonetheless it is at least beginning to happen. The worst thing that could happen now would be people recklessly using them as a way sto show openmindedness and enlightenment. Homosexuals, pansexuals, heterosexuals, asexuals, any thing else sexuals, are all human first.
People of other ethnicities who got used when us whites tried to show each other how enlightened and openminded we were, have been left emptyhanded and pissed off, feeling like we were really fickle. And, well, we were, and deserved their response. I'm assuming this will be no different for the *sexuals when the hipsters start saying "Well isn't that so cool to be ... everyone should be ..." regardless of the person, and start hooking up with different orientations just to show their friends how open they are. But if we're really open we'll be treating these people like people, not cultural objects to be exploited and show off how cool we are.
Again, I'm not in the same generation maybe but I have seen what happened when people were reckless that way with international relationships 20 years ago, as a way to show how multicultural they were. I'll say this much: many white people of my generation were dead wrong to do this, and a lot of other people coming to this country trying to make the best of things were taken advantage of so our group could show how enlighted we were with the token Asian or pick-your-nationaltiy.
I of course know many where it worked out, but those were never the people who said "it would be so cool if," and "Everyone should be this way." They were ust two humans who fell in love and dealt with the real world ups and downs of life.
Leo is absolutely right. While I do admire pansexuals, I don't feel guilty or unenlightened for being attracted exclusively to men. You can no more help who you're attracted to than you can help your height or natural hair colour; be as true to yourself as you possibly can, and don't let anyone tell you that you should ignore the orientation you were born with in favour of being "cool" or "enlightened". To do so would be unfair to both yourself and whomever you end up dating as a result. It's not shallow to be straight, or gay, just remember that.
I will add that anyone old enough to remember the 1980s knows Lesbians then had been told if they only had the right guy they would go straight. They were understandably upset, even if the ravaging tactics against all males in general (including baby boys) was uncalled for.
So if we understand how they felt about such overt tactics foisted on them by men raised in the 50s, how different is this really from those who claim being a pansexual is better than any other, or that that is the most enlightened way to be. The reality is humans' sexuality should be left to the human in question.
Only instead of aging males born in the 1950s telling Lesbians of the 1980s if they just had a good fuck they'd go straight, we have skinny jeans-wearing, ipod-swinging, OMG-typing hipsters telling the rest of us that the only way to be any sort of open is to be pansexual? This would be very difficult for some young people just trying to figure themselves out, without the militaristic and fascistic backdrop the feminists had to bolster their own. These types are young and confused and need just the opportunity to figure things out for themselves, not boxed into pansexuality because that is what is enlightened and openminded, or cool. I should think real pansexuals would be rather insulted by this whole brigade anyway. I've known a few over the years, though I didn't know the term for it till recently. Ironically the ones I knew in real life were the least likely to be overt in defining what was best for other people. I only came away with the impression they had a unique perspective on how difficult and treacherous life's waterways can be to navigate. But that was just my impression.